| Certainly, the word "peace"
evokes good feelings. It's a concept everyone would favor, right? Logic tells us that
anyone with common sense would say, "I am for Peace," and every half wit would
say, "I am against Peace."
What you hear the word "peace," what do you
think? Does it conjure up ideas of true serenity – a spa, pleasant aromas, a babbling
book, gentle breezes and an occasional massage? When we think "peaceful," we
usually think "quiet" and "relaxing."
Other images swirl quickly to the surface as well. On a
broader scale, "peace" means world leaders shaking hands, signing agreements,
ending conflicts and fulfilling resolutions. It's the type of peace often ushered in by
the United Nations and captured on the nightly news.
Regardless of the image we might have regarding peace, we
all generally celebrate when it comes, because peace is good.
As a leader, are you a peacemaker?
Good leadership brings peace. I realize many will say,
"Leadership is more about conflict – it's the nature of leadership." Is it?
Does leadership bring with it conflict? Or does conflict exist and good leadership brings
peace? People want to spend time with good leaders because good leaders – through
their leadership – create peace.
Anyone who is a parent, myself included, has seen a few
conflicts. Children tend to have this uncanny ability to bring disagreements and selfish
ambitions to the forefront. I didn't teach my kids to produce conflict – they did
that all on their own. My job as a parent is to help my kids develop skills that cultivate
peace. My children, like a lot of children, will naturally gravitate toward being selfish,
territorial and possessive. Plain and simple, they want their own way.
I first realized this truth when my children were very
young and still in diapers. Put them in a room with another child with only one toy
between them, and the conditions are soon perfect for conflict. One of the first words out
of my children's mouths is, "Mine!" Maybe the saying "we are kids at
heart" is not always a good thing. As we grow into adulthood, we don't instantly lose
our selfish ambitions. The conflicts that used to show up on playgrounds soon begin to
take their own form in workplaces, marriages and even between nations. A failure to
identify this reality will only reinforce the wall of conflict.
Good leadership moves beyond selfish ambition to help
resolve conflict and achieve peace. Good leaders recognize the dynamics needed for peace
and are able to cultivate it. It's tangible and it radiates in their presence. They bring
peace with them when they enter a room and they take it with them when they leave the
room. Good leadership pursues peace.
What then makes leaders effective peacemakers? They have
these characteristics:
1) They understand the natural tendency toward selfish
ambitions.
A peacemaker sees the self-focus motives and isn't hesitant to point them out. Such
"pointing out" happens not in an accusatory way, but in a way that reveals the
path to a peaceful solution.
2) They listen.
Leaders go to great lengths to listen and to make sure people are understood. Listening
doesn't always mean agreeing with what's being said. A leader knows that in most cases of
conflict, a person is not always intense on being right; he or she just wants to be heard.
Listening is crucial to leadership, and a leader relentlessly does it well. If you want to
frustrate those you lead, don't listen to them. Always correct them when they bring up an
idea and shut them down when they are sharing something that is either inaccurate or
incomplete. That is a quick way to lose any followers – and to lose any shot at
cultivating peace.
3) They bring clarity to the situation.
Most conflicts center on miscommunication. Nowhere is this more apparent than on the
international scale whenever there are multiple languages and cultures involved. The
diversity of perspectives and thoughts is great, but such diversity also means there is
tremendous possibility for conflict. A person may say something at a meeting, and the
listener may have "heard" the words but not understood their meaning in context.
A peacemaker helps people process what is meant beyond what is simply stated.
4) They build trust.
Trust is the foundation to achieving peace. The people you lead must trust you as a
person. This is what I believe is a "sacred" relationship. Marriage is one type
of relationship that most cultures consider sacred, because it's a special relationship
built on deep trust. If the trust is broken in the relationship, then the
"sacredness" of the relationship is violated. As a result, there will be
absences of peace and surges of conflict. When we look at building trust in other
relationships, a certain level of sacredness also exists. A peacemaker cultivates ways for
such relationships to be valued. Where there is trust, the potential for peace is
greatest.
We all know that conflict cannot be completely avoided.
Leaders as peacemakers, however, can diminish conflict and reduce its long-term effects. A
good leader creates an environment of peace that compels people to walk in that direction.
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