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Avoiding the Deadly E-Mail Trap
by Susan Dunn

 

Imagine a world without email! Some of us can because we lived and worked before there was email.

I remember one office I was working in, when the CEO was finally convinced to get computer savvy. They told him email would make his life easier. I can't imagine what reasons they gave him, but they worked, and he took the plunge.

I visited with him a month later, and asked him, "How do you like email?" Looking crestfallen, he replied, "It's just something else to have to answer to. It doesn't help at all."

Some, like that gentleman, consider it a Pandora's box, unleashing a host of plagues on humankind. Others think it's the best thing since sliced bread, wonderful for information, entertainment and connection. It's probably more like the Sorcerer's Apprentice - a great tool if you use it, a disaster if you let it use you.

The other day I had an interesting experience. I coach people internationally and the Internet is my lifeline. I probably keep 200 emails "live" in the in-box, emails I can't get to immediately but need to. I get hundreds a day, don't we all?

I emailed my computer guru. He didn't get back to me for a week. I got busy with other projects, and found to my amazement I was surviving. Over time everyone who needed me rewrote, and the rest I found I could live without. I lost some good articles, etc., but there's plenty out there if you know your way around the search engines. By going to my ezine provider I was able to recreate a lot of my address book.

But the upshot was, when it all went away it was kind of a relief!

With that in mind, I present some ways to get control of the email situation.

1. Use your EQ. Emotions give us information. They're good for telling us what we want, but not good for getting us what we want. Too highly emotional and we can't think right. Avoid panicking, overwhelm, impatience, and frustration. Delete the junk immediately and routinely. Then breathe. It's the latest catchword, and there's a lot more to EQ than that, but it's a start.

2. Assume your email at work is NOT PRIVATE. More companies all the time monitor (and count keystrokes!) and they don't have to inform you. Give the address to family and friends for emergency use only. Even your best friend can 'forget' and send an email you wouldn't want your boss to read.

3. Respond to emails, don't react. If a colleague or lover pops you a nasty email, don't react. Wait until you can respond. Get up, take a break, calm down and think. If angered, give it 24 hours. You can't erase what's written and sent.

4. Don't email when you should be calling or seeing the person. If you don't know the difference, work with a coach because it's crucial. The most important things should not be handled via email.

5. Organize. Set up folders and move things into them right away.

6. DELETE! Routinely and ruthlessly.

7. Turn off the dinger, and schedule your email time. Many just check in once a day. If you have an office where work is routinely assigned via email, you can't do that, but you can train others by allowing a little lag time. If you're too fast, the emails will just come faster.

8. Don't check email first thing. It puts chaos in your schedule.

9. Don't chase rabbits. Look them all over and make intelligent decisions. (The Hanes' sale can wait!)

10. Don't send "high priority" emails unless you mean it. It will become meaningless and you'll be ignored just when you need it the most.

11. Make good subject lines. It helps your receiver prioritize and store emails.

12. With employees, don't answer routine "problems" for 24 hours. They can usually solve them themselves and that's what you want to reinforce.

13. Observe email etiquette, adapting to the culture you work in. Some businesses expect grammatically correct emails that are bulleted and succinct. Others enjoy the social aspects of email more. Fit in, but do go easy on the LOLs and jargon. In doubt? Rely on the basics -- good subject line, organize content, summarize, use spellcheck, use "Dear" and "Sincerely" and leave out the emoticons. In other words, business English and courtesy.

14. Do not allow your relationships with colleagues to devolve into email-only. Work revolves around relationships, which can't be sustained via email. Make sure you go to their office, send handwritten notes, pick up the phone, make lunch dates, and visit around at all levels. Email is not a substitute for human contact, and networking within your organization will help you succeed.

15. If you mix business and social emails, don't. It's hard for friends and family to understand the stress you might be under. You can avoid misunderstandings by separating the two.

16. Prioritize by what matters to you. I don't ever ignore an IM coming in from my granddaughter. There's no way she could understand "Too busy." I take the time to explain why I can't talk. You think you don't have time to, but I've timed it. You can go a good, calm and kind job in 60 seconds. It's worth it. (Also set the "offline".)

17. Don't regress. It's easy to slip into popping off "do this" notes to employees, but it creates something you don't want. In the best offices I know, they continue to use "Dear", to begin with, "How's your day going?" before the list begins, to end with "Hope you have a good weekend," and to reply to someone who reports a job done with "Thank you, I appreciate that," or "You're a pleasure to work with," and they say "You're welcome." These are high EQ organizations. They attract the best people, hang on to them, insist on a high EQ culture, and reap the benefits at all levels.

18. I know one spectacular boss who occasionally emails an employee to tell them how much he appreciates what they've done, or how glad he is they work for him. Could that be you?

Email is what you make of it. If you're having trouble managing yours:

  1. Sit down and make a plan
  2. Be intentional. Decide how you're going to live happily with your email and commit to the plan.
  3. Set up folders for storage.
  4. Schedule 1-2 times a day to deal with emails
  5. At this time, go through all news ones and filter, combine, organize, make decisions, prioritize and take action
  6. Set up a signature line.
  7. Delete immediately and ruthlessly.
  8. Inform those you care about how you like your emails (i.e., subject line), and how you will be responding to them (i.e., I check once a day only).
  9. Once a month purge the whole system (folders, etc.)
  10. Every month go back over your plan because I bet you let it relapse!

Avoid the siren call of email to pull you away from productivity. Resist the emotional pulls of great sales, fascinating but unrelated articles, angry or rude colleagues, jokes and videos, and friends just killing time. Get on top of the system to avoid frustration and overwhelm. And remember we all survived at one time without email.

Manage this part of your life with emotional intelligence, and with a positive attitude and a well thought-through organizational plan, you may find the problem and the solution lie with the user, not with the tool.

 

©Susan Dunn, MA, The EQ Coach, http://www.susandunn.cc.

 

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Susan is the author of "How to Build Your Career with Emotional Intelligence," and offers coaching, business programs, Internet courses and other ebooks around EQ for your personal and professional success and health. Mailto: sdunn@susandunn.cc for free ezine, "EQ at Work." Susan trains and certifies EQ coaches. Email for information on this fast, affordable, comprehensive, no-residency program producing certified coaches worldwide.

 

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