When we realize that virtually every
aspect of our business and personal life requires negotiation, the benefit of being a
better, more efficient negotiator is clear.
Negotiating skills are not usually part of our formal
education, though we use these skills all day, every day. These skills are at the very
core of both our professional and personal lives. It doesn’t matter if we run General
Motors or the corner snowball stand or our households, we all have to communicate and
convince effectively.
What is negotiation, anyway? Negotiating can be explained
as simply as “working side by side with other to achieve some beneficial
result.” Luckily, it is a practical skill that can be learned. It is not a genetic
trait we’re born with, like blue eyes or black hair. So no matter what our age or our
position in life, if we develop a certain attitude about negotiating, pay attention to
honing our skills, then our life will run smoother.
Some things to remember when developing a negotiating
strategy:
• Act collaboratively, not competitively.
It is not “me against you.” When we see the other
person as a bargaining partner, we are aware that everyone must come away with a benefit.
It is a big mistake to think someone is going to give you something for nothing. So try to
determine what it is the other person might want, in exchange for what you want. And then
present your case to show them that, if they will help you get what you need, you will
help them get what they need. Make “Mutual Benefit” your mantra.
• Personalize the situation; deal as individuals, not
as institutions or corporations.
You are not talking to “the Tchula bank” but to
Charlie Smith, the person sitting in front of you, who represents the bank. Flesh and
blood Charlie Smith. Realize that you negotiate on behalf of yourself, representing the
company. When you see the other person in this light, you are able to look them in the
eye. This eye contact
• Increase your expectations.
You usually get what you expect to get. If you don’t
think you will get the promotion, you probably won’t. If you don’t think you
will land the contract, you probably won’t. There is no way you will put your best
effort forward if you think, in the back of your mind, you won’t succeed anyway. So
you might as well act as if you expect to get whatever it is you want. You will be
pleasantly surprised when you do! You see, when you truly expect to get what it is you are
seeking, others see this in you.
• Know what you want.
Sounds simple, doesn’t it? But surprisingly, there are
many times when we go in to a negotiating session saying, “Let’s see what they
offer us.” Why let the other person decide what you will get? Nobody knows your
business or your life as you do. Being able to state specific proposals gives you
strength.
• Stay focused on the real issues.
Decide what you absolutely want to come away with; what
extra’s it would be nice to come away with; and what you can do without if you need
to give them up to reach an agreement. Why do you need to determine these things in
advance? Because in the “heat of battle” you won’t be able to focus on
these issues so easily, and you could be very surprised at what you didn’t get or at
what you gave away.
• Prepare.
Do you homework; thoroughly research the person or company
with which you’ll be dealing. Is the company an innovative one or a staid one? Is the
person with whom you are negotiating known for being creative or for being more
traditional? With all the information available on the Internet today, there is virtually
nothing we can’t find out beforehand. Whether we are researching a corporation or a
person. Just Google-ing someone is likely to bring up something we didn’t know. And
of course, there is the old-fashioned way: just ask. Ask industry colleagues
(non-competing ones) or acquaintances. It should not surprise you how much people like to
talk about what and who and how much they know!
• Make time your ally.
Try to know your counterpart’s deadline without giving
away yours. Why? Because if I know your deadline to solve a problem or come to an
agreement, I can stall any decision up to the point I know you have to make a decision.
Most concessionary behavior and settlement action occur close to someone’s deadline;
don’t let it be yours.
These are just a few of the many points necessary to
knowing more about the negotiating process. Will practicing negotiation skills take time
and effort? Of course. But becoming a more efficient, smarter negotiator will bring you
many rewards in both your professional and personal life. |
