| In baseball, it's said that you know an
umpire is top-notch when you never notice his presence. If he's doing his job, he won't
call attention to himself in any way. It's much the same for the writer of a press
release. When the recipient of a press release focuses only on its content -- and not on
its creation -- the writer has succeeded. With that in mind, here's how to develop a style
that can help give you a big edge in placing your press releases.
1) Master News Style By Reading News Stories
The folks who write wire copy for the Associated Press are
masters at presenting information without calling attention to themselves. Read all the AP
wire copy you can: http://customwire.ap.org/dynamic/fronts/HOME
and get a sense of the rhythm and flow of their writing. Examine their choice of words and
sentence structure (typically, they choose the simplest way of saying things) and their
overall tone of solid objectivity. This is the style to which you should aspire.
2) Write a Great Lead
The lead paragraph in a press release should,
theoretically, be able to stand alone as a news item. A standard news lead answers the
Five W's -- Who? What? Where? When? Why? Successfully answer those five questions in one
paragraph and you've summarized everything beautifully.
Bad lead:
The new Acme X100 is drawing raves from customers, who call
it the best thing to happen to the flanging industry since the X99.
Good lead:
Philadelphia -- Calling it a "milestone day for our
industry", the Acme Company unveiled the first flanger capable of creating widgets
using only solar power. According to Acme President Joe Blow, the X100 is expected to find
wide use in the developing world, where access to traditional electric power is
unreliable.
The Five W's are answered! Who: the Acme Company. What: the
introduction of the solar-powered X100. Where: in Philadelphia (the headquarters for our
fictional company). When: August 15. And, most important, Why: for use in the developing
world.
Remember this: in almost every release that's successful,
what put it over the top was the answer to "Why?". You must make plain the
significance of your news by answering that question succinctly and without hype!
3) Write in Third Person
Perhaps it's a silly convention, but press releases really
should be written as if they're coming from an objective outsider to your company, not
from within your business. Of course, the journalist knows better, but nonetheless, they
expect releases to be written in the third person. In short, here's the difference between
first person and third person:
=> First person: We've developed the Acme X100.It's our
most advanced model ever.
=> Third person: Acme Industries has developed the X100,
which a company spokesperson called its "most advanced ever"
4) Attribute All Opinions
Never flatly state an opinion. If you want to state an
opinion or, as in the above example, make a claim, always attribute it to a representative
of the company (which very well may end up to be you!). Anything apart from entirely
factual info (dates, store availability, product features, biographical information, etc.)
should be attributed. Again, the best way to get a feel for this is to read wire copy.
Start sorting out the things a reporter feels comfortable including without attribution
and things for which he uses a named source.
5) Use the Inverted Pyramid
On the first day of Journalism 101, aspiring scribes learn
about the Inverted Pyramid. Basically, it's way of organizing information so that the most
important information is at the top -- the widest part of the Inverted Pyramid -- and, as
you funnel down to the narrowest point, the information becomes less and less vital.
There's a good reason for this: if a reporter's 10 paragraph story gets cut to 6
paragraphs because of space considerations, the reader will still be informed of the most
important news. What's cut will be background, quotes and other nonessential material.
When writing a press release, the Inverted Pyramid is equally important. First, it's the
style the journalist is comfortable with and second, it assures that even if a rushed
reporter can only read the first couple of paragraphs, she'll get enough info to decide
whether to use the release or not. If you bury the best part of your release in the fourth
paragraph, the recipient may never make it that far.
6) Remove all "Stoppers"
A "stopper" is something that will stop a
journalist in her tracks and distract her attention. Once that happens, your release is
toast. The point of your press release: to present information in the least obtrusive way
possible. Consider it this way: the journalist isn't dumb -- she knows full well that
you've sent her the press release for purely commercial reasons, hoping to get publicity
that will make you more money. She can live with that as long as [a] there's something in
it for her (a good story) and [b] she's not reminded of your commercial desires too often.
A "stopper" breaks the suspension of disbelief needed for this little dance to
be successful. It's the boom mike showing up in the frame of a movie -- once you've seen
it, it's hard to convince yourself that you're really experiencing something that happened
during, say, the Middle Ages. Here are some "stoppers" to avoid:
=> Clunky language. Journalists keep their language
pretty simple. Long words, compound sentences and lofty, pretentious phrases are no-no's.
Keep your sentences short. Don't try to present more than one idea in a paragraph. Avoid
words you wouldn't use in everyday circumstances.
=> Hype and puffery. The ultimate "stopper".
Confusing press release copy with advertising copy is a pervasive problem with
businesspeople. Don't call yourself the greatest, the hottest, the coolest, the most
unique or anything of the sort. If you must make a claim of superiority for your product,
service or company, attribute it. Acme President Joe Blow said the X100 "has the
opportunity to revolutionize the industry" is much better than The revolutionary Acme
X100 is the greatest industrial advance since the Wright brothers flew at Kitty Hawk.
=> Trademark Symbols. Including TM or copyright symbols
that scream, "hey, check me out! I'm a press release! I come from a business! The
legal department made me include this stuff!"
The bottom line: write like a journalist, avoid the
stoppers and answer the Five W's and you'll succeed!
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