| I don’t know why so many articles on
life/work balance seem to focus on people who suddenly decide they’ve had it with
working all the time and within one hour quit their job, buy a yacht or a jet, grab their
family or their best friends or their dog and travel the world for a year or two.
They then get touted as the role model for the rest of us
who either like our work, can’t leave right now, or just want to enjoy life at home.
Besides, being in balance is more than just what you do with your time, its also how you
feel and think all of the time.
The reality is that wherever you go you take yourself with
you. I can go to the woods for a week to meditate, but if I’ve never meditated, or
gained some inner peace or learned to be happy with who I am rather than what I do,
I’ll go up to the woods and count the minutes until I can leave or find some way to
distract myself from myself.
Life balance is more than how we spend our time, its also
how we feel about that time and how present we are each moment. It doesn’t always
take one major event to want to change or to know something is not right for you. It's
often a series of things.
I’ve studied the subject, changed my unbalanced ways
and eliminated some major stresses, and there are still times when I know I need to slow
down and reassess my priorities.
In this article I feature four people from very different
backgrounds who realized they needed to jump off the never-ending treadmill of stress and
overload, and make some concrete changes. These are four people who found different ways
of achieving life/work balance without sailing the seas or flying the skies for a year.
Conscious Change Ross Pike has been managing partner of
Diversified Maintenance Systems, a facilities management company for the last year and a
half. When I interviewed him, he was calm, and focused. I learned that he wasn’t
always this way.
There were times in the past when he didn’t take the
time he wanted with his family, and when he did, he was often tied to his Blackberry.
“Before I was with Diversified Maintenance, I was Division President for another
organization. I was responsible for over 7,000 employees. I had no personal time It was
always the customers time. My day started early and ended late. I had to keep up with east
and west coast time."
“I was a hamster on a treadmill, always working, and
always tired. I needed to make a change. I decided to be open to new opportunities where I
could go home every night and spend real time with my wife.” Soon after a colleague
one of the owners of Diversified Maintenance, called.
When his friend told him they were seeking an additional
partner for their company, and asked Ross for recommendations, Ross suggested himself.
Within six weeks he had left his old job as Division President of a national organization
and became an equity partner of a much smaller organization. “I left people that I
really liked, and took a big cut in my annual salary, but I get to see my wife every
night. I also get to spend more time with customers and less time with so much paper work.
I was constantly tired and could barely stay awake until ten. Now I enjoy staying up with
my wife and watching Boston Legal until eleven. I go to the gym now and take long walks,
and my wife is happy because she can give me a longer to-do list.
Balanced and Beaming Catalina Ganis is Executive Vice
President and Managing Director of Elliot Executive Source Ltd. and Senior Vice President
of Elliot Associates Inc., divisions of The Elliot Group LLC, a nationally recognized
executive search firm specializing in the Hospitality, Food Service, Manufacturing,
Distribution and Retail Service Industries. Catalina helps spearhead client development,
long range strategic planning and is also responsible for managing senior level executive
search assignments.
She is the chairperson of the Multicultural Foodservice and
Hospitality Alliance. Catalina has been active with the Organization of Chinese Americans
(OCA) Westchester Chapter in New York and the Chinese School of Southern Westchester. She
is married and has three children After speaking with her it was clear to me that she and
her family know how to work together as a team and support each other in developing a good
life balance.
Before she worked at Elliot Associates, Catalina worked in
the hotel industry where she was on call 24 hours a day. “We worked too many hours
and the wrong hours. I knew that I needed to change how I was working. Now, I have the
luxury of being able to work at home when I want. I make my own schedule and the work
always gets done. It's important to me that I am able to spend time with my family. When I
travel I make sure that I take flights that allow me to see my children either in the
morning or at night (I will leave the house at 4 am to make that early morning flight so I
can be home by 8pm that same day).
The work I have now also enables me to be involved in my
children’s classes and activities.” Her parents and sister help her, and she and
her husband support each other. “In order to have a good balance in our lives it is
crucial that we learn to let go of things we can’t control and to not waste time
complaining about the decisions we make." "I also made a conscious decision to
take a position with an organization and people with whom I share a similar mindset and
values and where I am able to be flexible After all, I want to attend my kids practices
and sports games (its not just for them, I need to do it for me).” “I learned to
be realistic about what I can do with my time, so we eat a lot in different restaurants. I
don’t have to spend time cooking and our whole family can enjoy our meals together. I
know I’m in balance now because I can sleep at night."
From Solo to Stability Lia Shigemura has been the diversity
director of ABM for a little over 6 months. While some people leave the corporate
environment for their own business in order to gain a better life balance, Lia gave up her
own successful business to get back into corporate life. "I loved having my own
business and due to hard work and good fortune, I was very successful. Much of that
success, however, meant that I was constantly marketing myself and selling. The cycle was
unending and relentless. When I wasn't with a client or in meetings, I was on the phone.
Life planning became difficult as I found that I often placed my clients' need over my
own."
"I had been vaguely contemplating working within an
organization for a while, but hadn't begun a serious job search when a former colleague,
who had recently been hired by ABM Industries, asked if I was interested in applying for a
challenging position as director of diversity, inclusion and training. I saw it as a
terrific opportunity to become involved in the ground-up development of such important
company strategies and initiatives. With the work I do now I can help create change that
will positively benefit 75,000 people and their families. The scope of my position is
tremendous and offers many opportunities. And the energy that I used to devote to
marketing and selling (and worrying) is now better spent on productive aspects of work
that I much more enjoy."
Lia misses some of her international travel she likes not
living on airplanes, and gets to spend more time at home and on vacation with her partner
of 14 years, Helen Zia." I can now sign up for classes like yoga that are more than
one session because I have a better idea of my schedule.. I can actually relax and be more
present with my partner. This is a wonderful journey."
When I spoke with Lia, I knew she was serious about this
because she was on her way to Carmel, California to relax for a week by the water.
Taking Flight at Fifty Marcie Lee Thomas is a principal
consultant for HCMS Group, Inc. (Human Capital Management Services), a health information
company. She loves what she does which is developing educational programs and managing
client accounts. “Since I began working for the founders and principals of HCMS (over
11 years ago), my life is a lot more balanced. I work with people who share the same
philosophy and who treat people as assets and not as liabilities. Our clients also agree
with our philosophy. I didn’t feel that way in other work environments”. Before
Marcie worked with HCMS staff she worked for a county agency that provided health care
programs for county employees.
“We were expending our intellectual capital, but
received no recognition for our good work. There was no mechanism for employee
appreciation or recognition. We provided for the care of others without receiving care for
ourselves. It was stressful, and I always felt responsible for outcomes even without the
necessary control to effect change”. I wasn’t fulfilled workwise and I realized
that I was not in balance with who I was as a person.” Marcie went on to tell me she
was contemplating leaving but hadn’t made any moves until “I saw someone get
shot outside of the building where I worked. That was the moment when I said that all the
benefits, job security and retirement were not worth the stress, nor could those things
help me feel better about my job.”
She was fifty years old when she embarked on a new career.
Other people told her it made no sense to leave her county position at that age and
couldn’t believe that she would take that risk. “From the minute I started
working with the principals here, my stress began to lift. I finally felt that I was
valued for my contributions and for the results I achieved.” When I asked her what
she did outside of work she replied “I love to travel especially to Europe and
Hawaii. I love visiting Paris. I exercise, dance, read, attend classes, and take time to
go on spiritual/personal growth retreats. I used to take vacations to get a break from
stress, but it was still there when I went back to work. Now, I’m feeling in balance
when I start my vacation and I’m still in balance when I return.”
All four people Marci, Lia, Catalina and Ross are very
different from each other but they all knew they were working too much, too hard and not
getting what they needed to balance their personal and professional lives. Lia left her
own business to work for a large corporation, and Ross left a large organization to become
managing partner of a much smaller business. Catalina and Marci both knew that they needed
more flexibility to put their life in balance, pursue other interests and feel in control
of their time. Each person made a conscious decision to make a change, and be open to new
opportunities. As we enter a new year, take an assessment of what you do and how you live
your life. Do you complain about your job, relationships, or lack of personal time? As you
assess your life, if you find any areas that you don’t like, make a conscious choice
to change and be open and willing to try new opportunities. Don’t wait, start today. |
