| In the Star Wars movie's famous bar scene
you knew, by appearance, what zany character was sitting beside you. Each character had a
distinctive look. Yet in today's meetings you may have no idea the constellation of
characters that you’re meeting with. That’s because their normal outward
appearances belie often-troublesome behavior.
Use this article as your guide to the crazy cast of
characters you’re likely to encounter in your meetings. Whether or not you’re
armed with a light saber, you’ll nevertheless be equipped to do battle with these
oft-destructive forces who subvert meetings with their bothersome behavior.
The Monopolizer:
This person thinks he or she is the only one with wisdom on
subjects. The monopolizer believes everyone else is there to hear him or her speak, and so
they do, incessantly. They don’t appreciate that meetings offer an opportunity to
hear from many. They prattle on and on, arrogantly acting as though their ideas or beliefs
are inherently more important than others. Sadly other people shy away from contributing,
intimidated by the monopolizer’s stranglehold on the meeting. When facilitators allow
this it sends a message their rudeness is sanctioned. The facilitator or even other
meeting participants should indicate an interest in hearing from others in the meeting, to
remind the monopolizer that others can speak as well as listen.
The Tangent Talker:
This person hijacks the topic of the group by taking
discussions off on tangents — topics unrelated to the issue at hand. One minute
you’re on topic and the next minute you’re in “left field” as your
agenda topic has been taken to a tangent. Your meeting chair’s ability to recognize
and refocus is essential to a productive meeting. “Let’s remember to confine
ourselves to the topic at hand” is a good way to get back on track. Alternately
saying, “Let’s try to avoid tangents” also labels such behavior as contrary
to the group’s aims. As well, you can “park” extraneous items in a
“parking lot” list where they’re noted, if only to be addressed later.
The Devil’s Advocate:
Let’s face it, there’s one in every crowd and
most meetings too. This person seems to relish taking the opposite tack. Whatever the
argument being put forth, this person delights in taking an opposing view. It’s sport
for them, an exercise in opposition. The more unpopular the stance the more exciting their
challenge. Often they begin by saying “just for the sake of argument…I believe
the opposite is true….” While there’s value in looking at issues from
multiple points of view and avoiding groupthink, the Devil’s Advocate applies their
technique to every issue, every argument and every conversation. Hold on to your Agenda
and get comfortable. This could take a while! A good chair can praise this person’s
ability to do this while simultaneously indicating its inappropriateness given time
parameters or previously agreed issues.
The Cynic:
The ultimate naysayer, this person has a Masters degree in
negativity. Adroit at the phrase “it won’t work” they are skilled at
deflating and defeating whatever motion is in motion. “Can’t be done.”
“They’ll never buy it.” “We tried it once and it was a failure.”
Their motto: just say no. Challenge these people to think like The Devil’s Advocate
and suppose for that things could work. Use the common conflict resolution tool of asking
them to embrace the other side’s view as if it were their own, and argue that
side’s position.
The Fence Sitter:
Known for their paralysis by analysis, these characters are
unable to make decisions. Despite being in a deliberative body, they are conflicted by
multiple arguments, and can’t “pull the trigger” when it’s time to
make a decision in a meeting. They provide fodder for the Devil’s Advocate, the Cynic
and other characters with their ambivalence. Whether they are afraid of being wrong, or of
disagreeing with someone else, or just going on record, they are a meeting monster for
their inability to move the action forward. Try to cajole them to action. Remind them they
have a vote and were invited to use it. Ask them their opinions on matters to draw them
out and get them on record.
The Brown Noser:
There’s likely one in every meeting. The person who is
so obsequious, bending over backwards to ingratiate himself or herself to the boss, the
meeting leader or other power broker. They’re so busy currying favor with others they
subvert whatever true feelings they have about issues to “kiss butt.” They are
seen to be in the pocket of the person they’re cow-towing to. Ultimately they are
seen for who they are and become predictable. Try to elicit their ideas and preferences
before asking others as a way of drawing them out.
The Pandora’s Box Opener:
These meeting monsters just have to tackle issues that are
emotional, touchy or are “hot buttons” for others in the meeting. In every
meeting there are topics sure to strike a nerve, to provoke an emotional reaction or enter
the group into a quagmire. These people lead the entire meeting into areas that provoke
frustration, animosities and often resentment too. Once this box is opened, it’s hard
to get its issues back in the box. Discussions of salaries, promotions or personal styles
often stir up issues that hijack meetings. Even worse, some culprits reopen issues from
earlier in the meeting that have already been resolved. The best cure: a firm
“let’s not go there’ from the meeting’s facilitator. Other phrases
like “let’s cross that bridge when we get there” or “that’s a
hornets nest we don’t need to disturb” labels certain subjects out of bounds.
The Attacker:
As children these people were bullies. Some haven’t
grown up! The attacker deftly mixes negativity with personal attacks, challenging
others’ ideas with vigor. Without regard to hurting others’ feelings, the
attacker uses a confrontational style to object to others’ ideas and go against the
flow. Sadly, sometimes they don’t even realize they’re attacking. A good
facilitator can refocus them to be positive, to remove the sting from their words and
avoid an adversarial approach. All meeting participants are entitled to stop the meeting
when attacked personally. Ad hominem attacks are attacks against one’s person. People
can criticize your actions or beliefs, but you don’t have to tolerate attacks against
who you are as a person.
The Joker:
Don’t let their good nature fool you, Jokers can be
meeting monsters. Their constant joking has the effect of diminishing others’ serious
ideas or suggestions. Their infusion of humor can belittle others’ motions and makes
it difficult for some to be taken seriously. There is a time and place for joking. While
we all like a good laugh, constant joking disrupts a meeting and distracts attention from
where it should be. A meeting chair can designate several minutes at the start or middle
of a meeting specifically for humor. When it crops up elsewhere and is deemed disruptive,
the chair can remind people the time for humor is passed or forthcoming, so as to control
it.
The Robots:
Yep, these meeting monsters are actually cell phones,
pagers, personal digital assistants (PDA’s) and laptops. Each distracts their owner
and others too as they intrude on participants’ attention spans during meetings. It's
gotten so bad now cell phones contain cameras within them…just what meetings need. A
good meeting chair will create ground rules for meetings, including turning off these
gadgets at their outset. It’s hard to compete with human distractions, let alone
electronic ones as well.
As you can see, meetings are full of characters. You should
study the behavior in meetings, including your own, to better understand your style of
interaction. The character of your meetings will surely be affected by the characters in
your meeting. May the force be with you. |
